Helping others

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”

Ian Maclaren

Practicing compassion is a powerful way to help others, and is more sustainable than being empathic.

Whilst empathy is a wonderful trait, having too much can leave you feeling drained, because you absorb other people’s pain and distress into yourself. Whereas, by showing compassion, you remain sufficiently detached to show both care and a degree of resourcefulness that enables you to help people.

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

Dalai Lama

Compassion is the cognitive understanding of how another person is feeling. It’s better for our own wellbeing and that of others. Buddhism calls it ‘Karuna’, meaning you have concern about another, not by sharing their suffering, but by feeling FOR them not WITH them.

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Fear of rejection (whether real or perceived) is dangerous because it can prevent you from taking action.

This article explores ways you can be rejected, how that feels, and what you can do about it.

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What is masterminding?

The concept was created by Napoleon Hill (not the Bonaparte one!).  It was first published in his 1925 book Law of Success, with more detail given in his book Think and Grow Rich.

Hill defines masterminding as:

Coordination of knowledge and effort of two or more people, who work towards a definite purpose, in the spirit of harmony. No two minds ever come together without thereby creating a third, invisible intangible force, which may be likened to a third mind.

In other words, the sum of the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

A mastermind group should feel like a safe place to go for support and development. In essence, you’ll receive feedback from your peers who will ask you good questions; give you space to think; help you brainstorm ideas and options; challenge you to commit to the next steps – and then hold you accountable.

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Definition of gratitude

Gratitude is defined as:

“The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness”.

True gratitude is deep, meaningful and long lasting. It goes far beyond the appreciation you may feel for a new car or handbag that quickly stops being new so you soon stop appreciating it.

Most religions, including Buddhism, advocate being grateful for your lot.

People who are high achievers often focus on what they are aiming for, achieve it, feel good momentarily, then immediately set off towards their next goal. They are never satisfied and always aiming for something that hasn’t yet happened: if you identify with that, I hope you’ll find these ideas particularly helpful.

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Having a strong desire to achieve can help you be very successful; but if it’s not balanced it could put you at risk of burnout.

I see clients who are incredibly hard-working. They push themselves to be successful in their career and their life, but some don’t notice (or ignore it) when they feel tired and unwell, and end up functioning less than their best. This article looks at what you can do to recognise the warning signs, and maintain optimal health and performance.

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Whatever you are trying to achieve, making progress naturally includes making mistakes. So it’s important to celebrate ‘failure’, and reframe it as ‘learning’ and a healthy part of living a full life.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Thomas A. Edison

This article builds on last month’s article How your mindset can enable or limit you.

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Mindset is a key factor in informing your outlook and decision-making, and operates at the individual, team and organisational level. We explore this idea below, and explain how your mindset can enable rather than limit you. This issue links to my recent article on growth and fixed mindset: How to sustain change.

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I recently attended a training course about neuroscience, and learnt more about what happens in the brain and how it impacts performance at work. I also keep coming across research and articles on this subject so it feels topical – this issue therefore summarises some of the fundamentals of the structure of the brain and its effect on our emotions and behaviour.

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